so about my voice

in case you couldn't tell me and the voice, Josh are together now. Last Summer over the phone I knew I was falling in love with this guy and like a coward I stopped talking to him...I just wasn't strong enough for a long distance relationship nor did I know what he felt about me. So we stopped talking although I did email him a few times in the Fall. We were both busy so it seemed no biggy. But when time slowed down in January I realized I missed him. His voice and the way he made me laugh and feel special. I needed him. So I called my cousin.... Josh was in the room, I could here his voice in the background and I almost cried. Daniel passed the phone over and Josh surprisingly said he couldn't believe it took me so long. He left and got his own phone and we talked all night. and again the next night, and the next, and the next. After a week of that I finally admitted that I had wanted him for months but I was scared of that. He laughed this cute scoff at me and somehow in that conversation we decided to give it a try. We haven't spent all night on the phone since then because his life with the ARMY has been work work work. He flew me out in March so we could see each other in person and not just online and over the phone. It was the best 8 days of my life. Then his platoon left for a month to the desert for training but we talked almost everyday and I felt like I got closer to him in that time than I had ever before. In May he came here for my birthday. Another great 10 days but while he was here he got a phone call saying he had received his orders and the platoon would leave soon for Iraq. He left and we talked even less leading me to do the psycho needy girlfriend thing calling him to talk about where I stood in his life...I was lonely. So in July I flew back out just for a weekend. Just to see him, to feel him. and now its August. It hasn't been all rainbows and butterflies, in fact I've come close to giving up but something about him makes me want to be my best me. His voice makes me melt and his laugh makes me giggle. His touch...well.....I hate being away from him. I can't wait for deployment to come and go and for him to be discharged and then maybe he can be all mine for a little bit. In the 7 months we have been together we have talked about living together in his home state when he is all done and we even discussed ages of marriage and kids. Little does he know, I would marry him before he leaves. Not for his benefits or any of that. I don't want any of the perks. I just want to know that part of him is mine, that I will always have him, that I have a tangible commitment that will make our deployment just a little bit easier to get through....we'll see. from now on this blog will be a journal, not just of my relationship but also on my cousin who is a mystery with all his girls/drama and my best friend and her now ex-husband trying to get back together.......we shall see. any one in a military relationship will know exactly what I mean and those who aren't will still know how hard love is in all of it's forms.